Tipsy Robins

I had planned to regale you with stories about our drunken robins today. This winter’s record lows froze the berries on our palm trees. When that happened, the palm berries fermented on the vine or, in this case, on the frond. Those same record lows sent huge flocks of robins into our heavily wooded, Central Florida back yard, and kept them there longer than usual. The birds gorged on the berries. Result—a goodly number of tipsy robins. So, we were going to talk about my drunken birds who, when they do manage to get off the ground, can’t fly straight. But…

I set off the house alarm at five a.m. this morning. So, instead of tipsy robins, I have some heavy duty apologies to make.

Especially to Dear Hubby. Last night was one of “those nights” when insomnia got the best of him. He was finally drifting off to sleep when the claxon sounded loud enough to give us both heart attacks.

I am sooo sorry about that.

I’m sorry, too, that, even though I punched the code and hit the cancel button, the monitoring company called…an hour later.

And I’m very sorry that by then I was on the treadmill and didn’t hear the phone ring. I’m sure that nice young police officer was just doing his job when he banged on our door. And no, it wasn’t my idea to invite him on a tour of the house. He just wanted to make sure no one was holding a gun to anyone’s head.

As long as I’m apologizing, I’m sorry that thieves broke into our car just before Christmas and that the house behind ours was robbed. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have had the security system installed in the first place.

Most of all, I’m sorry that, despite living in a normally quiet neighborhood in a very small and very quiet town, we also live in a world where security systems are necessary.

I promise not to set ours off at five a.m. anymore. All that racket disturbs the robins. And if there’s one thing worse than a drunken robin, it’s a tipsy robin with a hangover.